Managing gender dysphoria is different from accepting flaws. Plus, Im the kind of person who keeps themself busy all the time, and spending most of my summer bedridden was a nerve-wracking prospect. With low reported rates of dissatisfaction, top surgery and other gender-affirming medical supports such as HRT (hormone replacement therapy) can actually reduce suicide risk. (Even if they haven't had top surgery, their medical provider may be able to pass along the names of doctors for you to reach out to.) Instead, it is just assumed that someone is trans and trying to get that person to be happy with who they are is considered conversion therapy. I think it would be an relatively easy revision for a surgeon to do. "But that's not to say I got off scot-free. Luckily, time has a tendency to heal physical wounds. And for trans or nonbinary kids under 18, the road can be even longer. So, after a week or so spent mulling my options, I nixed my sans-insurance surgery plans and opted to go with insurance instead. I tell patients that words like 'nipple' and 'areola' are normal, everyone has them. Now, a year later, the memories of how difficult dealing with my chest used to be are becoming more distant. Ad Choices. All but one of the articles focused exclusively on transgender men, but I am non-binary. What I needed now was a definitive answer from my insurance company. My scars were treated with glue instead of traditional stitches, which meant I was medically cleared to take a shower as soon as the day after I got out of the hospital, but it took almost two weeks before I felt comfortable keeping my bandages off long enough to actually do it. I was given a lot of clinical facts about what it would be like how long to expect to be bedridden, how to keep the surgical site clean, what arm motions could damage the stitches as well as what a. of all the dysphoria that my chest caused me. and our Ive even seen lawyers get involved, they once told me. We all have breast tissue. Non-binary people can have breasts, and I know plenty who happily do. I thought i had made a mistake when i realized i'm not a binary trans man. But Not Because I Wasn't Trans," in which they make the case that we are all figuring out who we are and should have the space to do that on our own terms, including following the changing understandings of ourselves and how we want to be in the world, wherever they take us. This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. To a large extent, you have to find your own way out of the wilderness. Top surgery scars: For chest masculinization procedures, scars may appear as horizontal lines across . Late at night, I would comb through images of women who'd undergone double mastectomies, their scarred chests adorned with tattoos, flowers, and empowering words. Much like how my gender identity has evolved over this span of time, so have my varied binding techniques. Part of HuffPost News. I had no idea how bad it was going to be. Bowers says that before she had her own practice she supported one of her first boyfriends through his top surgery. If you notice any pain, lumps, or asymmetries, schedule an . Its supposed to help you pass as a man or be androgynous. Non-Binary is just one term used to describe individuals who may experience a gender identity that is neither exclusively male or female but may fall between or beyond both genders. Ive made a lot of mistakes in my life. My surgeon took a photo so that I could see it when I was ready and reassured me, Ive seen hundreds, maybe thousands, of post-surgery chests and yours came out really great. I knew better than to expect top surgery to be a breeze, insurance or no. Gender affirmation surgeries, also known as gender confirmation surgeries, are performed by a multispecialty team that typically includes board-certified plastic surgeons. Insurance can be hit or miss and really depends on your policy and your insurance carrier. The Standards of Care (SOC) are recommended clinical protocols set forth by The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) for healthcare professionals to follow during their treatment of transsexual, transgender and gender nonconforming patients). "He woke up without nipples!" Non-Binary Surgery. People have lived through a lot more. r/NonBinary I'm proud of myself! Transgender and nonbinary people may choose top surgery as part of their gender affirmation treatment. Anatomy doesnt have a gender and tissue isn't gendered," says Berli. My top surgery was a long time coming. This is a three part essay series about detransition/regret after top surgery, or double mastectomy. No matter their gender identity, all top surgery patients should perform regular breast and chest self-exams before and after surgery. According to O'Melia, surgeons who aren't necessarily "relationship-oriented physicians" may be uniquely able to help trans and nonbinary people with the challenges of medical transition, but they shouldn't be the only medical providers involved in the decision. This isn't an indication that they have made a mistake, or regret their . For those without medical [contraindication] to hormonal therapy, 12 continuous months of hormone therapy is required, unless undergoing FTM chest reconstruction. I asked her to please repeat that last part of the sentencethe one starting with unless. Unless undergoing FTM chest reconstruction. And there it wasunless undergoing FTM chest reconstruction. That one disclaimer was my insurers convoluted, misinformed-about-proper-verbage way of stating: Hormone therapy is not a prerequisite if youre just getting your godforsaken tits chopped off. What does FTM mean? the rep asked. Nothing happens overnight. Youre not alone. Even if one learns to recognize the distortion and its effects, it remains a struggle to accurately view ones own body. In many ways, Im so much freer now than I ever was before. That was my go-to excuse whenever my secretthe breast bindingwas discovered: Oh, its nothing, Id respond as casually as possible. To call top surgery cosmetic or elective demonstrates a misunderstanding of gender dysphoria, which I will now explain. Prolonged binding is akin to wearing a Victorian Era corset, and it has singlehandedly caused my chronic back pain. "Having a clear communication and understanding about what its going to look like will optimally alleviate the dysphoria, in terms of the surgical goals. Dr. Dorafshar is a highly distinguished plastic and reconstructive surgeon who specializes in gender-affirming facial surgery. If youre a detransitioner or know someone who is, give that a read. "When you do things beautifully, the body agrees. Theyre also a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist, who regularly writes informed consent letters for clients, which are letters of recommendation for gender affirmation surgery on the basis of a gender dysphoria diagnosis; almost all providers require at least one of these letters. A study released in October 2019 confirms the capricious nature of insurance companies when it comes to top surgery approval. "Since I'm pretty curvy and don't want to be on testosterone, once I have top surgery, I'll retain my lower body curves stereotypically associated with femininity, but I will be able to take off my top (or wear a low-cut dress) to reveal a 'male-contoured' chest. In the end, my top surgery was one of the best things Ive ever done. The expected range of cost, for instance, is quite a gap to consider: In both the U.S. and Canada, top surgeries run anywhere between $3,500 to $10,000 USD, depending on ones insurance coverageor lack thereof. When you're figuring out how to approach these conversations with medical professionals, it can be especially helpful to form a community, whether IRL or online, that understands what you need and what you're going through. Thats my procedure! I taste copper, feel nauseous, and want to cry. Even a surgically ideal outcome may not be what the person envisioned, so keeping an open mind and focusing on healing may help as well. Id hyped myself up to believe that this was going to be a beautiful turning point to becoming the real me. 2020 Feb 6. Everyone in my life told me that growing breasts defined femininity. Part One: The Post-Surgery Bad Feelings, Expectations Vs. Secondly, my desire for top surgery comes from me, not from the transgender community. Xtra Newsletters send you the latest in LGBTQ2S+ news and culture. We will look at some recent data and at some real-life stories to get a better picture of what happens when someone decides to alter his or her sex. It's also important to do intensive research into insurance and other financial options for your top surgery. They want a prepubescent appearance or non-masculinized, even feminized appearance, with no nipple reconstruction," explains Jenq. Being honest about our feelings doesnt make us any less masculine, and struggling with difficult parts of our transition doesnt make us any less trans.. Each person has a different chest, so their skin reacts differently and their chest wall size is different. This type of surgery accomplishes three things: changing the shape and size of the chest's skin envelope, altering the location of the nipple or areola, and removing breast tissue. Throughout the process, "try to make sure you have good people around you," the anonymous 30-year-old says. I hope you feel better soon, Ms. Higgs.. Mastectomies are more widely known than top surgery, making them a tempting route to getting rid of your breasts. But when I researched answers to these questions, I discovered two unhelpful types of resources: the Transgender 101 articles that started at square one, What is trans? and the academic articles that took a theory-based approach to these issues. I knew I was lucky to have so many supportive people in my life, but it felt like everyone I talked to wanted to congratulate me and ask how I was doing. They found that 99.7% of trans individuals were satisfied with their surgery. Above all, I just want to say: you can come back from this. I think a lot of it really are normal things that a lot "cis" people feel. Ill talk about that more in the next essay. Dont let the pushy, glitzy Instagram before and after photos fool you- a mastectomy is ALWAYS a big deal. My surgeon took a photo so that I could see it when I was ready and reassured me, Ive seen hundreds, maybe thousands, of post-surgery chests and yours came out really great. (Eventually the desire to have a proper shower won out over my anxiety.). Upon the release of her findings, Dr. Yvonne Marsha Rasko, MD, affiliated with the University of Maryland School of Medicine, stated, Our survey study finds marked variation in policy criteria for top surgery between insurers. You are entitled to healing and relief. The next essay will be about physical and emotional healing, forgiveness, and reconstruction surgery. I was imagining a transformative and spiritual experience when I went in for surgery. Surgeons should consult with providers who have a relationship with the patient, instead of making decisions based on a one-time meeting with them. In addition to trans-affirming care, it is critical to find a surgeon who understands the aesthetic challenges of top surgery. Im growing out my hair now so that I wont feel too masculine after top surgery. And almost immediately after the surgery, the dread of regret started to sink in. The only problem: I knew very little about the process of getting top surgery. It was freedom from the physical sensations of having breasts. I felt like I might be crazy having this kind of reaction to the surgery. You arrive at the placeIt is not what you wantBut it is what you chased. ", Trans people often report discouraging experiences in medical care, making it all the more important to find a professional who will be respectful, receptive, and communicative. 5. A subreddit for people of every stripe who feel that they don't fit into a preference-binary or gender-binary culture. Anyway, I hope that isn't rude to say. 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